2024 Author: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 05:25
Birds from the mockingbird family have always been admired by people with their ability to imitate. Parrots are considered undisputed leaders, because they manage to brilliantly copy human speech. And sometimes even pronounce whole sentences, successfully inserting them into a dialogue with people, which creates a complete impression of the meaningfulness of actions. Therefore, the anecdote about the parrot stands out as a separate subgenre in verbal folk art. Such stories are almost always witty. And this is not surprising, because the main character is a bird that will not go into your pocket for a word.
Joke about a parrot and a man
In short funny stories composed by humorists from the people, the opponent of a witty bird is often not a very smart hero. As a rule, this is a peasant who likes to drink and does not care too much about his moral character. There is more than one anecdote about a talking parrot and its owner. An interesting version, in our opinion, we want to present to the attention of the reader.
Once a man who was very fond of drinking, his wife went on a business trip. There was an impressive amount of money left at home.buying new furniture. The man's wife was rough. Leaving, she threatened that if even a penny was spent, the peasant would not escape severe bodily harm. The drunkard is fastened for a day, another, on the third he could not stand it - and away we go. The man did not have time to come to his senses, as he drank all the money, and tomorrow his wife is returning. He thinks what to do, he decided to ask advice from a drinking buddy. He says: “Take my parrot for a while, tell your wife that you decided to buy a smart bird instead of furniture.” The guy liked the idea, but there was one ambiguity in the plan. How to return a parrot back? The drinking buddy says: “Don’t worry, my Petruha is a terrible swindler, as soon as he opens his beak, your wife will immediately tell you to get rid of him. Here you will return it to me.” So we decided.
The man brought the parrot home, and he started screaming: “Vaska is a bastard, he drank all the money!” The man asked him to be quiet and threatened, the vile bird does not understand anything. The drunkard could not stand it and put the parrot in the freezer so that he would gain his mind and not talk too much. After a while, a feathered man takes it out of the refrigerator and asks: “Well, will you still talk about me?” And the parrot replies: “Yes, I will go numb! Just tell me why you sewed that chicken out of the freezer? Did you talk too much too?”
Parrot in the fridge
There is another joke about a parrot that was locked up in a freezer. However, in this version, the feathery suffered for using profanity.
The man was expecting guests. Together with old friendswas to come interesting lady. I really wanted the man to make a good impression on her. But everything could spoil his parrot. The feathered one had one bad habit - he cursed terribly. The man had a good deal with him. The parrot promised to be silent. But as soon as the doorbell rang, the bird began to swear terribly. The man in a rage put the foul language in the refrigerator. The evening passed cheerfully, everyone danced and the lady became hot. She went to the kitchen to add ice to her champagne glass. He opens the freezer, and a parrot, blue from the cold, jumps out. The lady asks in amazement: "Who are you?" And the parrot replies: "I'm a fucking penguin!"
Jokes about a parrot and a dog
Another common character in funny parrot stories is a dog. In this tandem, the animals work very amicably and harmoniously.
The thief took a fancy to one apartment. He waited until the owners were not at home, and made his way inside. Passes along the corridor and sees that a sheepdog lies in the far corner. The thief stopped in confusion, but the dog does not lead with his ear, he sleeps for himself. The burglar calmed down and went into the room. Suddenly he hears a woman's voice from the kitchen: "Good evening." The thief was taken aback, but no one was supposed to be at home. He enters cautiously into the kitchen and sees a parrot in a cage. He again says: "Good evening." The burglar exhaled and went about his business. When the loot had already been collected, from the kitchen again came: "Good evening." The thief grinned and said to the parrot: “What, fool, don’t you know anything else?” The parrot replies: “I know. Rex FAS!!!”
Another joke about a parrot and his faithful friend tells the story of a robbery.
As in the first case, the thief got into the house. He is distracted by a parrot that shouts: “Shurik sees everything! Shurik sees everything! The thief began to be annoyed by the cry of the feathered one, and he covered the cage with the bird with a rag. And the parrot says: “Shurik is our shepherd dog.”
Parrot and other birds
The farmer bought a parrot. At first, the bird behaved decently and entertained the owner with its funny twitter. Then the feathered one began to show remarkable abilities, memorizing a lot of words. The farmer was very proud of his pet. I bought him the best food, and in his free time he was engaged in training the feathered one. The parrot felt its importance and began to allow itself to argue with the owner, and then insult. The farmer got angry, and after another skirmish, the parrot thundered into the chicken coop. He sits among the chickens, and they discuss him. They say that the male is ugly and useless. Tired of this parrot, he says to the chickens: “Yes, finally calm down, riffraff! You are here on charges of prostitution, and I am winding my term on a political article!”
An elderly lady comes to the pet store and turns to the seller: “I would like to buy a parrot so that I always have someone to talk to. The kids don't have time. The salesperson replies, “Yes, please. This macaw is worth five hundred pounds, and the gray jaco is three hundred. The lady says, “Unfortunately, this is too expensive for me. Maybe there is a cheaper bird? After thinking, the seller says: “Take the owl, although she does not speak, she listens very carefully!”
There is a similar joke about a parrot and a woodpecker. The plots of the stories are quite similar. However, in the end, the seller offers to buy a woodpecker. Because although he does not speak, he can communicate perfectly using Morse code.
Parrot and women
The fairer sex, as you know, is distinguished by its sociability. Therefore, especially funny jokes about parrots and women.
Grandma decided to make a gift for her granddaughters. I went to the pet store and turned to the seller: “Please sell me that parrot over there, it seems pretty to me.” The seller replies: "I must warn you that this bird is old, and besides, it has lived in a brothel for a long time." The lady says: "It's okay, I'll take it." She brings the parrot home, the granddaughters rejoice. Mom also came to see the pet. And suddenly the parrot says: “Wow, new girls! And the bandersha too! Hearing these cries, the father of the family came out of the room. Seeing him, the parrot rushed around the cage and began to shout: “Bah! But the clients are the same! Hello, Sanya!”
Two friends meet. One asks the other:
- Why are you so sad? Did something happen?
- My parrot died recently, sorry for the bird.
- What's wrong? Sick of something?
- No, he died of longing, because my wife did not let him say a word!
Resourceful Parrot
And here is an interesting anecdote about a parrot, which distinguished itself by its resourcefulness.
Opposite the pet store is a grocery store. The parrot is bored, he decided to have fun and began to pester the seller of the shop withquestions:
- Hey, do you have any grapes?
- No, now is not the time for him.
A few minutes later, the parrot repeated the question, the seller answered the same. The parrot did not let up and repeated his question several more times. Then the seller in a rage shouts to him:
- Ask again and I'll nail your feet!
The parrot thought and asked:
- Do you sell nails?
- No.
- Do you have any grapes?
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