Various jokes about school

2024 Author: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 05:25

There are a lot of funny jokes about school. Some of them will be presented in this article. The hero of most of them is a bully and repeater Vovochka. This cheerful little boy makes thousands of people laugh for more than a dozen years. Here are some of the jokes about the school. They are loved by people of all ages.

Jokes about school for kids

The Russian language teacher gave the task to write a sentence with homogeneous members. Vovochka wrote: "I hate the physicist, the chemist and the geographer."

Marya Ivanovna gave the class the task to make an interrogative sentence and an answer to it, which can be both positive and negative at the same time. Vovochka wrote: "Will you have vodka? - Oh, leave it!"

And now a joke about a school in Georgia. The teacher asks the class a question: "Children, who can tell me what was wasp?" Givi rises and says: "Os is a big, striped flies." The teacher says, "Wrong answer. The big striped fly is the bumblebee, and the wasp is what the earth revolves around."

Special School

There are evenjokes about a specialized school. Here is one of them.

In a special school commission. Its head calls one of the students to him and asks him: "What is your name?". The student says, "I don't know." The head of the commission asks again: "How old are you?" The student again answers that he does not know. The teacher again asks the question: "What do you want to become?". The boy again says he doesn't know. Accordingly, the headmaster was severely reprimanded, deprived of his bonus and put on display. A year later, the commission came again. The head calls the same student and asks him: "What is your name?" The student quite confidently answers: "Vovochka!" The teacher asks the following question: "How old are you?" The boy replies: "Twelve." The man again asks: “Who do you want to become?” The student still confidently says: “A musician!” The teacher asks again: “Who, who?” The student still says with the same confidence: “Vovochka”.

Here is another joke about school from the same series. A special school student caught a goldfish. She told her that the girl can make any five wishes. The schoolgirl says: "I want my ears to be rolled up into a tube, my nose to be in the shape of a horn, my eyes to look like two big pears, my hair to be like long green snakes, and my skin to be pimply like a crocodile." The fish immediately fulfilled all the wishes of the girl.

But then she asked: “Why don’t youdid she want to become a beauty or didn’t she demand a lot of money?" A student of a special school answers her: "Oh, how could that be?".

About Vovochka

And again a few jokes about everyone's favorite hero.

Vovochka comes into the classroom and says: "Hello everyone!". After that, the boy calmly goes to his place, despite the fact that the lesson has already begun and the teacher is explaining a new topic in mathematics. The teacher stopped the negligent student and told him: "Vovochka, please leave the classroom and come in as your dad comes home!". Vovochka left the classroom. A second later, the door opens from a kick. what, you bastards, didn’t expect?". The teacher is in disarray. He says: "Go out and go into the classroom, as your grandfather comes home." After a while, Vovochka again runs into the classroom and yells: "Damn my bald skull! Who do I see!".

Many collections published in print are devoted to funny jokes about the school, as well as a large number of sites where you can find such masterpieces:

The teacher gives the class a task to make a sentence with the word "pineapple".

Vovochka wrote: "My dad ran away from me and my mom in Sochi, and he scored on us."

Strange students

At the exam in literature, the teacher says to the student: “So, the first question of your ticket is Karamzin's story "Poor Liza". What can you say about the heroine?The student says: "Oh!!! Heroin is such a cool thing! I can tell you everything about it!!!".

On the eve of September 1, Little Johnny yells in a rage: "For 10 years, without any evidence! An innocent person for 10 years, this is arbitrary!".

Georgian school

Very funny jokes about school are connected not only with Vovochka's name. They often include other characters. The following anecdote is proof of this.

In a Georgian school, the teacher says: "Gogi, prove that this triangle is isosceles." Gogi goes to the board and answers: "This triangle is really isosceles. I swear by my mother that it is."

The most resourceful of the class

Marya Ivanovna asks the class a riddle: "Without windows, without doors, the upper room is full of people." Little Johnny gets up and says: "This is a brothel." Teacher to him: "Fu, what a vulgar you are." Vovochka answers her: “And now I will ask you a riddle. Three women are walking. They all eat ice cream. The first licks him, the second sucks, the third bites. Which one is married?".

Maria Ivanovna blushed and said: "The one that sucks ice cream." Vovochka answers her: "Actually, the one who has a wedding ring on her finger is married. And you also tell me that I'm vulgar!".

Maria Ivanovna asked the class to write an essay on the topic "Travel" and said that the one whose work will be the longest will automatically receive an A. Vovochka wrote 50 pages. The teacher had to give him the promised mark. After that, she took his notebook and began to read. Opens the beginning, and it says: "The rider left St. Petersburg for Moscow." After that, she looks at the end of the essay, where she reads: "The rider has finally arrived in Moscow." He opens the middle of the notebook, and it says: “Tygdym-tygdym tygdym-tygdym tygdym-tygdym tygdym-tygdym tygdym-tygdym tygdym-tygdym” - and so on for several dozen pages.

- Children, who can tell what the unit mole is used to measure?

- For wool, fur and cotton.

Jokes about school will always be relevant, as this topic is inexhaustible.