Andelin Helen, "The Charm of Femininity": reviews, summary

2024 Author: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 05:25

Reviews of "The Charm of the Feminine" by Helen Andelin inspire many women to get acquainted with this book. This is the guide of the famous American writer who has devoted her whole life to making women's lot better. In this article, we will present the biography of the writer, a summary of her most famous work, and feedback from readers.

About the book

In the reviews of Helen Andelin's Charm of the Feminine, numerous readers who have already read this work say that this is an amazing tool that can make life better.

The author claims that he knows how to make a woman more attractive in men's eyes, and her marriage more successful. She answers an important question that has tormented many women for many years: what is the happiness of a married woman?

Helen Andelin's book "The Charm of the Feminine" is a real bestseller that came out in 1963 andremains popular to this day. The book spawned a mass movement in America that ran counter to the feminist sentiment of the time. The work was based on the idea that a woman should traditionally be a mother and homemaker. Representations of this movement are still preserved not only in the United States, but also in Australia, Japan, South Africa, Mexico and the Philippines.

In 2000, the first online course based on this book appeared. She herself is currently sold with a total circulation of more than four million copies, translated into many languages of the world, including Russian. By the way, Helen Andelin, whose photo is presented in the review, had her own website where she gave advice about motherhood and marriage.

The author promises that he will tell you exactly what features a man finds irresistible in a woman, how to awaken a real deep and strong feeling in his wife, to ignite love in marriage in a new way. Additional tips for a working wife are given. The book "The Charm of Femininity" by Helen Andelin is addressed to a new generation of the fair sex. For those who strive to reach their full potential, to be charming and loved.

Author

Helen Andelin was born in Arizona in 1920. As a teenager, she worked part-time in a store and a hotel that belonged to her parents. After graduating from high school, she attended Brigham Young University, majoring in home economics. This is a popular area of research in the United States, whichfocuses on the study of family relationships, the interaction between the environments and communities in which they live.

An important event, as we know from the biography of Helen Andelin, happened when she studied at the university. She met her future husband. His name was Aubrey Passy Andelin. He was a graduate of the School of Dentistry at the University of Southern California. In total, they had eight children - four sons and daughters each.

Helen Andelin's book "The Charm of Femininity" became her most famous, but not her only work. She also wrote the works "All about children", "Charming girl". Helen Andelin's books were very popular, she was interviewed by famous American journalists. The writer was visiting Larry King, Michael Douglas, Barbara W alters, Phil Donahue. Helen Andelin became recognizable, her work brought her national fame.

In 1998, Andelin began to develop her ideas on the Internet. In 1999, her husband died, which was a serious blow to Helen Andelin. She has practically stopped communicating with the public.

In 2009, she died at the home of one of her daughters in Missouri at the age of 89. Her movement is now led by her daughter Dixie, who in 2018 wrote a sequel to her mother's most famous book, Fascinating Femininity for the Eternal Woman, with a contemporary twist.

Russian Edition

After reading Helen Andelin's "Charm of the Feminine" in its entirety, you willget acquainted with all the ideas and ideas formulated by the author.

This work consists of several chapters, which are called "Unearthly love", "The ideal woman from the point of view of a man", "Angelic qualities", "Accept him as he is", "Appreciate your husband, look at him better side", "Admire your husband". The title of The Allure of the Feminine gives you a good idea of what this work can teach you.

In our country, this work has been repeatedly reprinted, especially it has become popular in recent years. Once again, Helen Andelin's book was published by the Eksmo publishing house, this happened in 2017.

Summary

While studying Helen Andelin's Allure of the Feminine in its entirety, readers pay great attention to the rules of relationships with men. The author advises to accept them as they are, to appreciate the best qualities and be sure to admire. It is important to allow a man to consider himself a leader, to manage household finances.

First of all, according to Andelin, men should appreciate intelligence, character and everything he does for his wife. For a wife, her husband, children, and home should be priorities in life. Only then in this list are appearance, parents, career and friends. According to quotes from the book "The Charm of Femininity", you can get an idea of \u200b\u200bwhich author represents the ideal family. Specifically, she writes:

The main thing for a woman in marriage is to be loved, but for a man the main thing is to see admiration in the eyes of his wife.

Great importance in marriage is the distribution of roles. A man should be the head of the family, breadwinner and protector, and a woman should be a wife, mother and housewife. It is believed by many that even now young spouses should study the "Charm of Femininity" in full in order to know how to behave in marriage.

A separate section is devoted to how to become obedient. Andelin claims that for this, the wife must respect the status of a man, completely trust him, adapt, act with children on his side, no matter what is offered, support in everything.

It is possible that a woman can give good advice to her husband. But it must be done in a special way. This unobtrusively requires asking prodding and leading questions, listening actively, sharing your understanding, but not trying to demonstrate that you know more than him. This behavior is vividly illustrated by a quote from "The Charm of the Feminine".

It's better for a man to do things his own way and make mistakes than to stand in his way and argue with him.

It is important to help a man. To do this, you should cut costs, not require that he spend more time with you, use the charm of his femininity. In family affairs, a man should be responsible for the distribution of money and financial security, and a woman for frugality, I will coordinate all my plans.

Ideal wife

Manyattention is paid to the qualities of an ideal wife. Separately, it is noted that it is important to do your job well, not limited to the performance of your duty. Manage time and money wisely. To warm the whole house with your warmth, to treat homework with respect, finding satisfaction in it.

To find happiness in household chores, don't make too many commitments, and also find another career for yourself.

The main principles of the correct organization of the household include concentration, the ability to put everything in its place, clearly define the types of work and their order, set priorities, create a comfortable and cozy environment for the spouse.

Motherhood should be a priority. A woman should show sacrifice, have many children. An important aspect is the timely preparation of tasty and he althy food, a homemade dress should always be beautiful and charming.

At the same time, it is important that a woman does not limit herself to housework. At the same time, the development of one's own talents should not distract from the family, which still remains a priority in the first place. The worst thing, according to Andelin, is the desire to go to work.

Caring for well-being in the home, you should pay great attention to the preservation of femininity. At the same time, the author gives specific advice. For example, wear clothes made of cotton or soft fabrics in pastel and rich colors. Strict style should be avoided. Pants are only allowed if they are embroidered in a feminine style. Appropriate must be accessories - jewelryjewelry, bright scarves, bags should not resemble men's briefcases.

Modesty should be in everything so as not to attract the attention of outsiders. Therefore, the body should be covered as much as possible.

A separate section is devoted to feminine manners. It is not allowed to make rough and abrupt movements, it is necessary to ensure that the tread is not heavy, and the voice is too businesslike and loud. You should not allow vulgar manners in behavior, for example, laughing too loudly. Scratching, nose-picking, blowing your nose in public are not appropriate for femininity.

At the same time, you should not stroke your husband on the back in front of strangers, laugh out loud at jokes, slurp and eat sloppily, throw your head back when you drink, cross your legs or sit with your legs apart.

She refers to the characteristics of female nature as softness, weakness and delicacy. It is important to be trusting, obedient, easily adapt to changing circumstances. A woman should be soft and fearful, not shy about showing her natural fears.

In maintaining a he althy family, it is important what role a woman plays. Andelin believed that a real mistress should not work. This should only be done in extreme cases:

• critical need for money;
• need for husband to improve his skills or study;
• reaching a mature age, when children grew up and started their own families, there was a lot of free time that you don’t want to waste, but to be useful.

At the same time, a woman should not go to work to help her husbanddeal with temporary financial problems or provide a more comfortable life for yourself, out of boredom, seeking to ease the burden of your spouse.

You should not prepare your daughters for a career either. Because of this, they can become too independent, get an easy way to solve problems in marriage through divorce. Getting a formal education will deprive a woman of the opportunity to become an ideal mother and wife.

In the work Andelin saw one harm. For a man, this meant a reduction in exactingness to himself, for a woman - a renunciation of femininity, the acquisition of some masculine qualities and independence. This is also harmful for children, as they begin to lack maternal affection and care. Finally, this is unacceptable for the entire society, as it harms the economy. Employers are starting to cut rates so families can live on two paychecks instead of raising salaries for the strong half of humanity so they can feed their loved ones on their own.

Andelin saw the solution in the final rejection of work and thrift. The family needs to sell everything that is superfluous, leaving only the most necessary, give up holidays and recreation, eat modestly, have a minimum amount of clothes that can be purchased in second-hand stores.

Family Happiness

Success in family life the author calls the concept of "radiant happiness". This is a pleasant mood, the ability to cheer yourself up and those around you. It is in this that the real female charm is manifested, which is so appreciated by men.

To gain the radianthappiness, you should remain happy yourself, make conscious efforts, smile, bringing joy to others. Moreover, smile even in difficult circumstances in the days of disasters and problems. It is important to take care of your well-being.

To maintain good he alth, you need to eat right. A woman's diet should consist of half fruits and vegetables, a quarter - from cereals. It should contain 10% fish or meat and dairy products, cottage cheese or eggs. Sweet should not exceed 5%. You should not eat processed foods and fried foods. It is important to get enough sleep: go to bed at 22:00 and get up at 6:00 in the morning. Go in for sports for at least half an hour a day, put a load on the muscles and heart in order to lower the pulse, normalize blood pressure, and reduce the amount of food consumed. Drink as much clean water as possible, breathe moist and fresh air more often. Always keep a positive attitude, watch your weight, be able to cope with internal problems.

How to be offended?

For well-being in the family, you must learn to express your anger with childish spontaneity. At the same time, feelings of rejection, resentment, hatred or causticity, as well as any other emotions, should not appear in the character. Categorical statements should be avoided.

To learn proper manners, it is recommended to observe how a little girl behaves. If a woman is upset about something, Andelin advised her to raise her shoulders and chin, put her hips on her hips, open her eyes wide and raise her eyebrows in surprise. With the manifestation of critical emotions, you can start to beathusband with a fist on the chest, while carefully monitoring his reaction, since all this should be a game for him, to make an appropriate impression.

Use as many definitions as possible in the conversation. Describing a man, use the words "strong", "stubborn", "hard", "intractable". But never say "underdeveloped", "small", "weak", "stupid", "despicable". You can exaggerate his actions against you and the children, "childish threats" are acceptable, but only expressed with sacrifice and sincerity on his face.

You can get angry in cases where the family has been treated unfairly, but you can’t show anger because of mistakes in the husband’s affairs, his problems at work, for example, dismissal. You can’t be angry with him because of mistakes in calculating the family budget, failure to fulfill household chores. All this aims to get rid of disturbing feelings, get rid of the feeling of pain, while maintaining charm and dignity. Anger should be expressed only at extreme degrees of resentment, do not pay attention to trifles, react violently only on really serious occasions.

Andelin considered insults or physical violence, infidelity, unwillingness to provide for the family, insulting neglect, lack of respect for the freedom of a woman and her rights to serious insults against her husband. In these situations, you should use all possible charm, give your spouse a chance to improve. It is worth leaving the family only if the manposes a real physical and psychological danger to the woman and the child.

In such situations, it is not so easy to control yourself, so you should learn to deal with anger. To do this, a woman must grow spiritually. It is important to understand and forgive your husband, to be patient with him. He must have the right to make mistakes, have human weaknesses. You need to evaluate yourself correctly, not be offended by comments and criticism. If you start to get angry, then express childish anger, and if your husband is angry, then show a childish reaction.

The latter is based on the exaggeration of negative aspects in a man's behavior. At the same time, you can divert his attention to foreign objects, change the topic of conversation, show humility in an unconditional manner. Playfulness combined with mischief would be appropriate.

If a woman needs to ask for something, then it must be done wisely. Hints, suggestions in the form of advice, ultimatums and demands are doomed to failure. Instead, you need to childishly, showing the primacy of a man and respect for him, confidentially talk about what you need. You should not ask for something that meets only your selfish inclinations, what he cannot afford to buy, can cause you to neglect obligations or debt, is contrary to his principles and beliefs, and in the future will become a burden.

You can not ask if the spouse herself does not fully fulfill women's duties. For example, in cleaning the house, cooking, intimacy, or stop caring about their appearance.

What should a wife be like?

Breasoning about the peculiarities in the behavior of the wife Andelin noted that a woman should not show sacrifice. This only harms the relationship, as it will never be appreciated. It is possible to show sacrifice only in emergency and special situations; in all other cases, sacrifice deprives the husband of the opportunity to serve. At the same time, he must do something for you, give, and you receive. Always remember that a man cannot read minds.

It is important to learn how to show children's joy. Look for happiness in the simplest things, rain, sun, grass. Any even the most insignificant gift and little things are accepted with childish delight. Exaggeration in such a situation will only benefit. It is important to express gratitude, sincere tears of joy and love.

Many spouses have to deal with gift problems on a regular basis. You need to get used to the fact that inattention on the part of a man is the norm, no matter how sad it may be. He gives gifts only when he considers it necessary, and not when it is necessary or expected from him. When you don't like a gift, you can't show it. It is not the thing itself that should be valued, but the fact of giving and the giver.

In intimate life, it is important to show style and grooming. Keep track of your wardrobe, current hairstyle, attractive makeup. Andelin devotes a whole section to sex. She considers it a destination only for married couples. This principle should be instilled in the hearts and minds of your children. At the same time, the sexual life with the husband should be kept clean. We must refrain from visiting frankperformances, watching dirty movies, pornographic magazines and books.

Spouses should determine the frequency of having sex together. At the same time, a woman should not agree to intimacy every time, otherwise she will no longer be appreciated, a man will have possessive feelings. Be sure to refrain from intimacy in case of serious offense.

During sex, you should disengage from extraneous problems, do not bother your head with unnecessary things. Follow the awakening of your feelings in this area. This will be facilitated by excellent he alth, proper nutrition, he althy sleep and moderate physical activity. Herbs should be used in exceptional cases and as carefully as possible so as not to harm.

If your husband pays more attention to sex, you should take his passionate nature as an inevitable reality. At the same time, try to avoid sensual arousal. To do this, do not kiss or hug him once again, do not change clothes in his presence, put away frank books and films. It is important to satisfy his emotional needs. Admire him and appreciate every minute spent together. Do everything to raise his level of self-esteem.

Married couples who have been together for many years face the problem of male impotence. For a woman, the most important thing in such a situation is to show compassion and understanding. Then the problem can be solved if it is based on psychological and emotional problems, and not physical ones.

There can be many reasons for sensual impotence. This is a distortion of the innerman's world. For example, when he experienced humiliation. In such a situation, one should especially often admire his achievements and virtues, raise self-esteem. As a supporting factor, supplements in the diet in the form of walnuts, honey, cheeses, garlic, onions, hot sauces in second courses and salads are suitable.

Impotence can arise from a great desire to build a career. Too high goals set for themselves, and short deadlines for their implementation lead to serious overstrain. Help in this situation may lie in accepting these circumstances as a given, waiting for the moment when the desired goal is nevertheless achieved. Until then, be patient and understanding.

The problem may also lie in the lack of activity of the wife in the field of sex. Existing problems can be exacerbated by excessive initiative. Do not be overly intrusive and aggressive.

Reviews

Judging by the reviews of the book "The Charm of Femininity" by Helen Andelin, the attitude towards the author is rather ambiguous, despite the fact that the writer has many admirers. They claim that this work has really helped them in life.

At the same time, in reviews of "The Charm of Femininity" it is often emphasized that in the modern equal world, the book presents too patriarchal views. It says a lot about submission to her husband, observing the traditions of classical femininity. In reviews of "The Charm of Femininity" Helen Andelin emphasizes that the described female mannersand the perception of appearance is considered by some to be strange in the modern world, not corresponding to the surrounding situation.

The book is especially popular among conservative Christians. Since Orthodoxy is widespread in Russia, there are many positive reviews about the "Charm of Femininity" by Helen Andelin from our compatriots.

At the same time, believers have enough claims. In particular, in the reviews of Helen Andelin, they are accused of describing the excessively vulgar and free behavior of a woman in marriage, especially in terms of sexuality.

Catch phrase

The title of Andelin's book has become so popular that over time it has become a catchphrase. Today it is used even in related fields.

For example, in 2018-2019, the exhibition "The Charm of Femininity" was opened in the exhibition hall of the Assumption Belfry of the Moscow Kremlin Museum. This is a retrospective of the works of the famous Italian house Bulgari, presented on the market for more than 130 years. There are more than five hundred pieces of jewelry in the collection.

Here you can clearly trace the history of the evolution of the design of this Italian house, whose creative heritage is considered a bright page in the history of world jewelry art of the last century.