Jokes about hamsters. funny hamsters

2024 Author: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 05:25

There is a wide variety of literature about pets. Undoubtedly, one of the most beloved pets are hamsters. The Internet is full of materials about these funny fluffies. However, this article will not be devoted to the problem of caring for them and the correct balanced feeding of such animals. Jokes about hamsters are collected in several sections of it.

After all, if "summer is a small life", then a hamster is a small bear.

Animals in China

Forest animals gathered for gatherings. The bear says dreamily: “When I go to China, everyone there will call me Mren.”

The fox was also not averse to dreaming up and said: “And when I go to China, everyone will call me Lren.” The hare did not want to lag behind them and proudly declared: “I will also go on vacation to China. They'll give me the name Zren there. The hamster thought about it and said offendedly: “But I don’t want to go there at all!”.

Women's rage

Recently, jokes about hamsters and blondes have become very popular. Here are some of them.

Brunette and blonde fight. In a fit of anger, the blonde says menacingly: “I’m telling you for the last time, don’t wake the beast in me!”. To which her friend replies, “I’m not afraid of hamsters, only horses.”

Two of the fair sex with blond hair bought a hamster at the pet store. One blonde says to another: “Listen, we haven’t thought about the most important thing - how are we going to distinguish between them?”. They puzzled over this problem for a long time, but suddenly an insight descended on one of them and she said: “Let's do this: I will cut off one of my paws. It turns out that mine will have three limbs, and yours will have four. This is where they stopped. When the girls put the hamsters in a cage, one of the animals was offended that he was missing a paw. He decided to correct this injustice and bit off his friend's leg. The blondes came to the park, sat on a bench and decided to admire their pets. Suddenly, they saw that the number of limbs in each of them was again the same. A quick-witted blonde gives a new idea: “Let's tear off one fluffy paw again. So we can distinguish my animal from yours. Her friend again happily accepted her proposal. When the hamsters ended up in the same cage, the bipedal individual gnawed off one limb of its friend, which, in its opinion, was superfluous. The girls, noticing this, again resorted to their favorite method. This was repeated until the animalsdid not remain completely without paws. Then the quick-witted blonde exclaimed: “I came up with it! Let mine be white and yours black.”

Sad statistics

Jokes about hamsters have become widespread due to the funny appearance of these little animals. Here is an anecdote that makes fun of this very quality of pets.

According to the Russian police, the theft of iPhones and hamsters has recently become more frequent. For a long time, the experts could not understand what was the matter. The answer turned out to be quite simple: it's all about using the box from the gadget to transport these animals.

Two friends talking

One friend says to another: “Imagine, our former classmate Kolka bought a hamster! He lives with him in a three-liter jar!”.

"Well, what's so surprising about that?" the man asks. A friend says with a laugh: “Imagine: a hamster has to swim all day in brine, next to cucumbers, tomatoes and garlic!”

Mini version

This joke about hamsters is very relevant today, given the current fashion for everything miniature: dogs, plants and more.

A real man, as you know, should plant a tree… And so on. But a modern representative of the stronger sex can use an improved version. You need to grow a hamster, build a birdhouse and nail it to a tree, and in no case forget to regularly water the ficus or aloe.

There is another version of this joke.

A real hog should plantoak, build a barn and raise a pig.

Good boy

Among the jokes about hamsters, there are examples of real black humor, for example, the following one.

11-year-old boy asked his parents to give him a fur iPhone case for his next birthday. Mom went to a specialized store, but, to her great regret, they told her that they had run out of such accessories.

When she told this news to her son, he thought for a while and said: “It's okay! If they don't have a fur iPhone case, then give me a big hamster.”

Fluffy Wise Men

Among the jokes about hamsters, there are some rather strange ones that can even be called surreal.

Here is one of them.

Two hamsters talk in hamster paradise. One furry asks another: “Please tell me about how you got here, that is, about your death.”

The comrade answers him: “As you probably know, we belong to a special kind of animals that have their own purpose, their own role in the global process of world history. We are destined to be sacrifices for the lives of others…”

Another hamster, intrigued, asks him: “Well, how did you die anyway?”

He answers him: “I drowned in the bowl from which they fed the dog.”

Funny hamsters

A well-known animal trainer decided to go to the market on a day off for fun, where they sell various pets. Walks through the rows of traders with dogs, cats and other animals. NothingHe did not find anything interesting for himself there. Suddenly he sees some old man holding funny hamsters on an iron dish. Animals cheerfully dance a complicated dance. The trainer, as if spellbound, looked at the outlandish animals for half an hour, and then offered the old man to sell them to him for a large sum. The grandfather immediately agreed. A circus worker enters the arena in the evening with an iron dish on which hamsters sit. He solemnly raises them above his head. But to his amazement, the Fluffies don't want to dance. In general, the number failed. The trainer comes to the market the next day and begins to complain to his grandfather: "Hamsters don't dance!" And the old man calmly looked at him and asked, “Son, have you tried holding the lighter at the bottom of the dish?”

About death

Funny jokes about hamsters are sometimes associated with such a sad event as death.

A man has a day off, he sits at home alone watching TV and watching football. Suddenly the doorbell rings. He looks through the peephole, asks: “Who is there?”, But he does not see anyone, and there is no answer to the question either. Then he opens and becomes a witness of a terrible picture - before him stands death. She looks like she is often depicted in various paintings: a hood, a black hoodie, a braid…

But only it is very small, barely noticeable. Death says to him: “What are you afraid of? I didn't come for you, but for your hamster.”

There are also literary jokes about hamsters. Here is one of them.

German writer Erich Maria Remarque said that love lasts three years. The same period is equal to the average durationhamster life. So, you can use these fluffies as an indicator. The hamster is dead - it means that soon love will end.

Under the parachute canopy

This humorous collection ends with an anecdote about hamsters and paratroopers.

How do they differ from each other? Once such a question was asked to the Armenian radio. Here is how the announcer answered him: “Paratroopers can jump with a parachute, but hamsters can’t. Because the fluffies think that the plane is a big cage. If they leave it, they will stop being fed. If the hamster jumps with the cage, then he won't be able to pull the ring.

In this article you read a selection of the funniest jokes about hamsters.

As you can see, these animals often inspire people to create small humorous stories.