Intellectual joke: examples

2024 Author: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 05:25

This article contains the funniest intellectual jokes. All of them are dedicated to different topics and were created at different times. But even today they cause laughter and contribute to a good mood.

The best way to start this compilation of clever funny and short jokes is with a phrase that some people find quite witty.

The words of any, even the most educated person, are nothing compared to the nonsense that narrow-minded people express. Such speeches are much more unexpected and therefore more impressive.

Philological joke

Archers are being created in medieval England.

The first participant enters the arena. He takes aim with his weapon and on the first try hits an apple on the head of a volunteer standing a few meters away.

The spectators in the stands begin to applaud wildly. The gunslinger turns to them and proudly says, "Ai, m Robin Hood." A few minutes later, when the applause subsides, the next contender for the title of the best archer enters the middle of the arena. He draws the string of his weapon, easily hitsan apple on the head of a man standing at a great distance. The audience reacts to his performance with extremely loud cries of approval. The valiant knight turns to the audience and loudly says: "Ai, m Lancelot." To a standing ovation from the audience, the archer leaves the arena. When the noise in the audience subsided, the third competitor appeared. He greatly exceeds all previous knights in his height. His bow is twice as large as the weapons of his rivals. He picks up an arrow, which is more like a spear in size, puts it in a bow, shoots an apple on a person’s head and misses. The knight hit the volunteer right in the head. He dropped dead. The archer, as if nothing had happened, turned to the audience and said “Ay, m quarrel.”

Joke from the master

And here is an intellectual anecdote that the famous Soviet film actor and clown Yuri Vladimirovich Nikulin once told in his TV show.

Do you know why the tram rumbles when it goes on rails?

Let's figure this out together. The tram moves along the rails with the help of wheels. This part of it is a circle, if we talk about its geometric shape. Therefore, to calculate the area of the wheel, you need to use the following formula: pi squared. Pi is a constant number. Therefore, it must be excluded from the formula. R is the radius. In this case, its size is unknown. Therefore, this value should also be excluded. Remains a square. When it rolls, it always rattles.

Easternwisdom

Kazakhstan hosts a competition of performers playing the folk instrument dombra. The first contestant performs the most difficult piece. His fingers run at a fast pace along the neck of the instrument. In addition, the music played by the virtuoso was written by him.

The contestant also impressed the audience with his impeccable performance technique. He, like the previous musician, wrote the piece himself, which he presented to the audience and the jury.

The third contestant didn't make much of an impression on the public. The work that he performed consisted of only one, repeatedly repeated note. This boring piece played for about half an hour.

As a result, by unanimous decision of the jury, the main prize was awarded for the third performance. The public is outraged. The hall does not want to disperse for several minutes and demands that the chairman of the jury enter the stage. Finally, he appears in front of the audience and says, “The top prize has been awarded to the third contestant because he is old and experienced. Fingers, unlike other musicians, do not run and look for the right note, but have already found it.”

Ambiguous line

At one of the lectures at the Faculty of Philology, the teacher asks students to compose a question, the answer to which would sound both negative and positive at the same time. Only one person completed this task. His reply was: Here is an example of a question and an ambiguous answer to it.

- Will you drink vodka?

- Oh, leave it!"

Music World

Intellectual anecdotes can also include those related to professional humor. For example, many musicians are extremely fond of joking. Therefore, they tell each other jokes about their professional activities. Here are some of them.

In a music school, in a harmony lesson, the teacher asks the question: “What is a dominant?” The pianist rises and says: “The dominant is one of the three main modal functions. This chord is built on the fifth degree of the scale. The teacher says: “Absolutely! But maybe someone can express the same thing in other words?”

The accordion player gets up and answers: “The dominant is a button on the left keyboard, which is located just above the tonic.”

A rock concert of a world-famous band is underway. All songs have already been played. The musicians bowed and left, leaving only one solo guitarist. He plays for about half an hour, then stops, and, wiping sweat from his forehead, says: "Finally caught up with the pace!!!".

An interesting story

Next, the readers will be presented with the text of the most intelligent anecdote according to some publications. It's on a historical theme. And since the 100th anniversary of the Great October Revolution was celebrated last year, it sounds quite relevant.

October 1917. Grandmother and granddaughter are sitting on the balcony in Petrograd.

Armed people pass by the building. The old woman, looking at them, asks her young relative: “Do you happen to know who thissuch?" She replies: “These are the Bolsheviks. They want to start a revolution." Grandmother asks again: “What changes do they want to achieve?”

Granddaughter says: “The newspapers say that the Bolsheviks want no rich people.”

Grandma shook her head and said in surprise, “Strange! So, when I was young, and the Decembrists wanted to make a revolution, they sought to ensure that there were no poor.”

Jokes about smart people

When you read the works of English and American authors in the original, it can be difficult to understand all the subtleties of the plot, because the same thought is constantly spinning in your head: “How smart I am!”.

As one great writer said… True, no one remembers his name and what exactly he said. But the thought was smart.

As you know, the ancient Greek philosopher Socrates was extremely unpretentious about the conditions of his life. He ate almost always pasture. One day a rich man came up to him and said, "If you worked for my master, you wouldn't have to eat such bad food." To this, the sage replied: “If you ate food like me, then you would not have to work for your master!”

Megalomania

There is also a fair amount of intellectual humor with a religious theme. Here is an example of such a joke.

Three monks are praying in the monastery church. One turns to the Lord God with these words: “My Father, how insignificant I am before you! Compared to your greatness, I am just a speck, while you are the whole universe!”

Prayerthe second began with the following words: “Lord, I am so small and pathetic that I can only be compared with a microbe, of which there are millions even in a human fingernail.”

The third monk, falling into religious ecstasy, exclaims: “Father, I am so insignificant before your face that I am like only a pitiful earthworm!” The other two monks, looking at each other, say in one voice: “Yes, what does he think of himself? He has megalomania!"

Contemporary Issues

In this list of intellectual jokes, the following examples of humor rightfully occupy their place of honor.

Nothing is as powerful a help in the household as internet outages.

What is social justice? To understand this thoroughly, consider the following example.

There are two apples and two people: an adult and a child. So, equality is when each of the fruits is cut into two equal parts. Both adult and child teach one share of each apple.

Justice can be called the case when a large fruit goes to an adult, since his body weight is much larger than that of a child.

And social justice will be shown if a big apple is given to a child because he is small.

Brilliant solution

Many people find intellectual jokes the funniest. They usually cite short stories like this to prove it:

The Titanic is shipwrecked. All the passengers are running around in a panic.decks.

Suddenly, a man on a boat swims up to the sinking ship and begins to say something to the captain in the language for the deaf and dumb. There was one sign language interpreter on the ship. They turned to him at that moment for help.

He carefully looked at the gestures that the man was showing, and said: “This gentleman says his name is Gerasim. He asks if there is anyone on the ship who wants to buy his dog?”

Great Writer

Early 20th century. A train rushes along the central strip of Russia. He drives through the countryside. A representative of the nobility is looking out the window. He sees a peasant in bast shoes and a Russian shirt walking across the field behind a plow. The nobleman says to his young son: “You see, my dear, this man? This is a simple peasant. He has been working hard all his life. You can, of course, call him dirty and ignorant, since he received absolutely no education. But society also needs such people, it is thanks to them that we have the opportunity to get bread to our table every day. Therefore, both you and I should be grateful to this hardworking plowman. The train had long since disappeared over the horizon, but Count Leo Nikolayevich Tolstoy continued to cultivate arable land…

Science experiments

Representatives of any profession believe that the most intelligent jokes are written about them. Scientists are no exception to this rule. Here are some jokes about them.

An experiment is being conducted at a research institute. An engineer and a professor of mathematics were placed in a special cell.

On the other endThere was a naked girl in the room.

The mathematician and the engineer were given the only condition: every 10 minutes they can move towards the lady. But only half of the remaining distance is allowed to pass at a time. The engineer immediately began to move, and the professor of mathematics ignored the proposal and remained in place. They talked about the reasons for their decisions as follows.

Mathematician: "I didn't go anywhere, because I know very well that I will never be able to overcome all the distance between me and the girl."

Engineer: "I agree to go halfway every time, as I understand perfectly well that in the near future I will get a result suitable for practical use (I will be at a fairly close distance)."

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician were given an equal amount of building materials and asked to fence off as much territory as possible with their help. The engineer built a fence around the perimeter of the rectangle. This fence was distinguished by its durability and strength.

The area fenced by the physicist was in the shape of a circle - in this way he managed to fence in an area larger than that of the engineer.

The mathematician separated a half-meter square area with a fence. He himself sat down inside the erected fence and said: "Let's assume that I am outside the fence."

And finally, one more example of humor for smart people.

Drink two engineers, a pessimist and an optimist. The pessimist says, "The bottle is half empty." The optimist objects to him: “You are wrong! This vessel is half full." One of the engineerssays: "The fact is that this capacity is twice as large as required." The second engineer, whose work experience was much longer than the first, answered this: “You are all wrong! This bottle is just right for this amount of liquid. Moreover, its reliability coefficient is equal to two, which is a fairly high indicator.”

This article was devoted to funny intellectual anecdotes. It collected the best examples of this genre.