Funny jokes about treason

2024 Author: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-07 19:44

The Russian people have created a huge number of jokes about treason. Some of them are presented in this article. There are many more jokes about the betrayal of her husband. Why is it so? The answer to this question remains open. However, there are several hundred or even thousands of jokes about the betrayal of his wife. Let's start with one of these samples.

Horned husband

A man complains to a friend: "Imagine, yesterday I found my missus with some Frenchman!". A friend asks: "Well, and you, of course, said a couple of affectionate words to him?" And he answers his friend: "No, I didn't tell him anything. I studied English at school."

Almost all cheating jokes are funny and interesting. The next one will be from the same series - about the infidelity of wives.

Husband is returning home from work. Approaches the door. Suddenly, a naked peasant with his wife's fur coat jumps out to meet him. The husband asks: "Who are you?". He answers him: "I am a moth." The husband asks the question: "Why are you holding a fur coat?". The man says: "We'll finish on the way."

Household issues

Here's another interesting cheating joke.

Husband constantly refuses housework. His wife, for example, tells him: "Fix the wiring." Hereplies: "I - what do you want, an electrician, or what?". Or the wife asks him to fix the washbasin, and he answers her: "Am I - what, a plumber or something?". And so on and so forth. And so, one fine day, the husband returns from work, and everything is repaired at home, everything is in order, and the wife is sitting happy on the couch. A man asks his wife: "Who did all this?". She replies: “Yes, the neighbor came in here. He fixed everything. And the money, most importantly, he didn’t take a penny. He offered to pay either in kind or to sing some song. He loves good music very much.” The husband tensed up and said to his wife: "Well, what did you sing to him ???". She replies: "What am I, a singer or something?".

Arrows of Cupid

Another very funny cheating joke.

Husband says to his friend over a bottle of beer: "I suspect my wife of infidelity." A friend asks: "What proof do you have of this?" The unfortunate spouse says: "Well, you see, we have already changed apartments twice, and the plumber remains the same."

The next anecdote about treason also begins traditionally for such cases. So.

The husband returns from work, and the wife has a lover who did not have time to hide or leave before the arrival of her husband. And so, a quick-witted wife opens the door, and hands her husband, who came home from work, a trash can: "Oh, dear, I'm so tired during the day, I'm completely wrapped up. Please throw out the garbage!" Well, at this time, the lover, of course, slipped out of the apartment. He walks down the street and thinks: "WhatStill, my Marusya's husband is not quick-witted. Just some kind of fool!". The door opens, his wife meets him with a trash can: "Vasya, please throw out the trash. I'm so tired during the day. "The husband goes down the stairs and thinks:" What a fool my wife is! He sits at home all day, but he can't take out the trash!".

Mutual assistance

Two friends are walking down the street. They see two women facing them. One of them says: "Oh, look, there my wife and my mistress are coming. Help me, I don't know what to do!" A friend reassures him: "Yes, you, Kolya, don't worry! This is my wife with my mistress."

A man begs the midwife at the maternity hospital to let him see his newborn baby. The worker of the institution reassures him: "Yes, you, man, don't worry! Here, let's let the woman in labor go home, then you will have plenty of time to talk with the child." The man says: "No, her husband won't let me go home to them."

Carkala

Now a few cheating jokes, but this time for a man.

The wife says to her husband: "Here, you are Vasya, you say that you are going to work, and you yourself will be drunk at four o'clock in the morning, all in lipstick, and you will smell of perfume." Husband opposes wife. But, the wife does not let up.

This continues until he leaves for work. The wife does not find a place for herself all day, walks from corner to corner of the apartment,cries. Indeed, her predictions came true. Twelve nights - husband is not at home. One o'clock in the morning - the spouse is still absent. The same thing happens for the next two hours. Only in the morning the doorbell rings. The wife opens and sees her betrothed, squatting in the stairwell. The husband is in a fairly tipsy state and smells of perfume from him. His whole face is smeared in lipstick. Husband says: "Well, croaked!".

Marriage Announcements

Here's another anecdote, which, however, stands somewhat apart from others like it. It's not really about cheating, but still about family relationships.

A man complains to his friend: "Imagine, I have been wanting to find a wife for several months. I even began to study ads on the Internet, but still nothing happens. I put an ad in the newspaper that I am looking for a wife. But, mostly only men call, who offer me to pick up their wives. A friend answers him: "That's right, Vasya! Why would you take someone else's wives? Better take my Masha. You've known her for a long time. She's good."

High relationship

• Two boxing buddies, one of whom is a heavyweight and the other a lightweight, are talking. The heavyweight says: "I somehow return home, and my wife takes her lover. But I left him, right, in the liver, in the head and knocked him out." And the lightweight answers him: "I also had a similar case. I found my lover with my wife. Well, I hit him with the left, right, on the head, on the liver." Heavyweightsays: "So what? Did you put it down?". A friend answers him: "No, I didn't knock him out. But I won on points."
• Two comrades are talking. "I've known you half my life and you've never smoked. Since when did you start?" asks one. "Since the time when my wife returned from the sanatorium and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray," he replies.
• Husband went on a business trip. The wife comes home long after midnight. She is wearing a new dress and jewelry. The daughter exclaims: "How beautiful! Did your father give you this?" The mother replies: "If I always hoped only for your dad, then you would not exist."