A funny joke about accountants

2024 Author: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 05:25

There are many jokes about representatives of various professions. There are jokes about plumbers, policemen, teachers and so on. Jokes about accountants are also quite popular.

Readers of this article will plunge into the world of debits, credits and financial statements for a while.

Not a toad, but an accountant

Two friends are talking. One says to the other: “A cool Chinese toad you have at work, souvenir, with coins.” And he answers him: “This is not a souvenir toad, it’s an accountant!”

The following little humorous story undoubtedly takes its place among the funniest accountant jokes. An employee of one company comes from a business trip and writes a financial report: “Meals - 1000 rubles. per day, accommodation - 3000 rubles. per day, women - 5000 rubles. in a day". He, of course, did not accept this report and was forced to redo it. It was strictly forbidden to use the word "women" in the next version. The employee of the company compiled the second document as follows: “Food - 1000 rubles. per day, accommodation - 3000 per day, screws - 5000 per day. This version of the report was accepted, and the man was promoted. The next timehe returned from a business trip, then his financial report was as follows: “Accommodation 1000 rubles. per day, food - 2000 rubles. per day, screws - 5000 per day, repair of working tools - 7000".

The following are also among the funniest jokes about accountants.

Laughter, and more

At a meeting of the working team, the following questions were discussed: "The first is the criticism of the accountant Petrov against the head of the company, the second is a civil memorial service for the accountant Petrov."

Ivanova copied from Vasechkin because she was not strong in mathematics. Ivanova received "3", and Vasechkin - "5". Given that we are talking about two employees of the same accounting department, then these terms are quite plausible.

And here is a joke about the chief accountant, who, quite unexpectedly for himself, became an ordinary citizen.

Announcement in one of the local newspapers: "Citizen Sidorov Ivan Petrovich, who lost his documents on Lenin Street in Moscow! We cordially congratulate you on your appointment as chief accountant of our company. We will be sincerely glad to see you at your workplace during the audit".

My dear accountant…

Joke about accountants who made a fatal mistake.

- Have you heard, Ivanych, our firm is being shut down?

- What actually happened?

- Yes, we decided to play it safe during the audit and sent a parcel with a present to the tax office. So that the courier does notconfused, they pasted a piece of paper for him on the parcel, on which they wrote “To the fat aunt who sits by the window.” And he forgot to unstick the note.

An accountant from a large organization travels with his family to spend a holiday at an expensive resort. At the airport, the customs officer asks him the traditional question: “Where did you come from?” out of habit, the accountant replies: “What are you doing! What profits! Total loss!”

The list of funny accountant jokes goes on. And here is the next masterpiece of folk art.

Error

Accountant receives a salary at the cash desk: “You didn’t give me five hundred rubles! How can you be so careless!” The cashier answers him: “For some reason, when I gave you an extra 1000 rubles last time, you were not indignant!” The accountant says: “Well, right! To make a mistake once is still forgivable, but twice in a row is already a disgrace!

Weaker sex

There are also a lot of jokes about female accountants. There were many of them at all times. But there are far fewer funny jokes about female accountants. However, they are all collected in this article.

The tight-knit all-female accounting team has been pestering the system administrator for an extended period. He decided to recoup them. On the desktop of the chief accountant's computer, he removed the Start panel. And one of the employees, on the contrary, added an extra button. Soon there was a deafening cry from the chief accountant: “Where did my Start go?” The system administrator says, "Someone stole it."The chief accountant asks: "Who stole it?". Computer Technician Says: “Who Has Two Gets Them!”

The police are looking for them

Almost all jokes about accountants are related to funny things about fraud. The next one belongs to them.

A man reads an ad in the newspaper that a chief accountant is wanted, who escaped with a six-month budget of the company, and says: “Yes, it’s hard to find a good accountant now!”

An employee of a large company says: “All the women in our team use different perfumes: accountants prefer Chanel number 5, lawyers prefer Kenzo, and secretaries smell like a boss.”

Professional

The organization needs a new accountant. Three candidates came forward for an interview. One of them has a mathematical education, the other one has an economic education, the third is a person who has worked in accounting for a long time. The first one enters the office of the mathematician's personnel department. He is asked: “How much is 2 + 2?” He replies: “But this is elementary! Of course, 4! The second is an economist. He is also asked the same question: "What is 2 + 2?" The economist thinks and says, "Well, in most cases, two plus two equals four." The accountant enters the HR department last. And they also ask him: “How much is 2 + 2?” He goes to the door, opens it, looks to see if anyone is outside, then goes to the window, draws the curtains, and answers in a whisper, “How much?”

And here is a joke aboutaccountants caught in an emergency.

During the working day, two masked men with machine guns break into the office of the company and shout: “This is a robbery, everyone should lie down!” The chief accountant says, wiping sweat from his forehead: “Fu! Lucky! Now we’ll definitely write everything down!”

The director of the company says: “I have a new accountant born in 1923. I recently took the abacus from him. So now he is doing calculations on the computer, in Word in a column.”

A conversation between two friends. One asks: “Why did you hire such a strange accountant? He is one-eyed, lame and toothless!” A friend answers him: “But what special signs he has!”

Accounting checks the report of an employee who returned from a business trip: “What is this unrealistic amount?” The employee of the firm replies: "This is a hotel bill." Chief Accountant: “Who gave you the order to buy a hotel?”

Two old friends meet. One asks the other, “How are you?” The second replies: “Don’t ask! Things can't get any worse! A friend asks him: “What is it?” And he answered: “Yes, my job is unimportant - an accountant at the airport. Judge for yourself, what can be stolen there? Boeing 747, is it?”

Valiant Accountants

An accountant comes for an interview in the personnel department, in a company where he wants to get a job. There he is asked the question: “How long have you worked in the last place?” He replies: "5 years." The personnel officer says: “What was the reason for the dismissal?” The accountant replies: "Amnesty".

Armenian radio is asked: “What is the difference between a good company and a bad one?” Answer:"Chief Accountant's Report".

The director of the company asks the accounting worker a question: “When was the last time we paid salaries to employees?” The accountant replies: "About 5 months ago." The director says: “Do they go to work?” Accountant: "Yes, every day without delay." Director: "So, you need to take money for entry."

Two accountants talking:

- Heard that our director has business development plans?

- Will we get more?

- No, work.

The head of the company says to the chief accountant: “You have been working for me for five years. And they never asked you to increase your wages. Time to fire you for cheating!"

An accountant calls his colleague:

- Hello! How are you?

- Fine!

- Sorry, I think I got the wrong number!

In one organization, a tax audit. Everything converges. There are no comments. The tax inspector says to the chief accountant: “You get a fine!” He is perplexed: "For what?" Inspector: "For bullying an employee on duty."

A man comes to the accounting department for a salary and says: “My last name is Total.”

The chief accountant instructs a young accounting worker: "Be careful and count this several times!"

A diligent novice comes after a while with a statement and says: “I counted twenty times. Here are all twenty totals.”