2024 Author: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 05:25
Jokes about dreams are one of the most popular themes in folklore. After all, everyone sleeps, and everyone dreams. Thus, the "themes" of dreams can be very different, just as the dreams themselves can be varied.
Here are the most popular and funny jokes about sleep. We sorted them by characters and situations.
Dreams and medicine
Traditionally, people come to the doctor with complaints of insomnia or nightmares. But those are people just like you and me…
- Doctor, tell me, is it better to sleep with your head to the west or to the east?
- Ay, my dear, the best place to sleep is in the West. And the whole thing…
Keep in mind that sleeping on your stomach is bad for your intestines, and sleeping on your back is bad for your spine. Do not lie down on your right side - the liver will hurt, you will sleep on your left side - interruptions in the heart are guaranteed. Program "Live he althy!" wishes you pleasant dreams!
- Doctor, I had a dream that I was the leader of a tribe of cannibals, and my tribesmen and I ate my wife all night…
- Well, it was only a dream!
- Yes, but where did my wife go?
The boxer had a terrible dream that a pear gave him change, a milkmaidshe dreamed that she was being milked by a cow, and the pathologist dreamed that he received a call to wish happy birthday to all his patients.
Husband and wife, or One man had a dream
Jokes about a man's sleep, of course, cannot but affect family relationships.
One man says to another:
- Estimate, I had a nightmare at night: Marilyn Monroe, Sharon Stone and my wife Zinka fought for the right to sleep with me.
- Why a nightmare?
- So Zinka won!
A tired man came home from work, had dinner, went to bed, and around something his wife and mother-in-law were flickering, they didn’t let them relax. The mother-in-law demands that he hang a clothesline, the wife - that he pour poison from rats.
- Yes, I understand, - he mutters through his sleep. - What's incomprehensible? Hang the mother-in-law and pour poison for the wife…
Husband in a dream:
- Lu-yuba-ah… Luba!
Wife pushes him:
- What kind of Luba is this?
Husband immediately waking up:
- Love, brothers, love, love, brothers live…
- You're not yourself, what happened?
- Yes, my wife has been dreaming for a week that she is dating Putin.
- So what?
- I demanded that she stop this case!
- Well?
- And last night I dreamed of an FSB general and said that it would be better for me not to stick my nose where they were not asked.
Those students who are always falling asleep during lectures…
Morning. Lecture. As usual, a rare bore. And the teacher is on the alert, do not take a napgives.
Jokes about the dreams of students and schoolchildren are also distinguished by their diversity and variety of situations.
- Student Petrov! You're sleeping in class again!
- I'm not sleeping, Ivan Ivanovich.
- Why are your eyes closed?
- It's just me blinking slowly.
School student Valentin Sidorov set a world record for the duration of sleep. In history class, he fell asleep in the 17th century and woke up when the First World War began.
A lecture from one student to another:
- Hey, you're holding a book upside down.
- Leave me alone too, Freud.
- What does Freud have to do with it?
- Where does the book have legs from? Tell her again that I look between the pages to her…
The professor is tired of the student "floating" on the exam and asks:
- Okay. What was the last lecture about, remember?
The student is silent.
- Who read it, remember?
The student is silent.
- Leading question: you or me?
After the lecture, a student approaches the teacher and asks:
- Tell me, Pyotr Ivanovich, when you go to bed, do you put your beard on top of the blanket or under?
- I don't know, to be honest, I never thought about it…
A week later this student comes to the exam to the teacher, and the teacher:
- You can't see the three as your ears!
- Why?
- I have not slept for a whole week - and so uncomfortable, and so!
General advice for those trying to sleep
To get a good night's sleep, you need to drink a soothing herbal tea, take a relaxing bath and throw a grenade at these idiots screaming outside the window!
If you have insomnia, just counting sheep is not enough. Let each sheep tell you its biography.
- Did you have a dream about monkeys and a hippo?
- No…
- Check it out!
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