2023 Author: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-08-25 09:26
In this article, your attention will be presented with a selection of the funniest jokes. Some of them are brand new, and some have already passed the long test of time. One way or another, they were all selected as a result of a thorough study of the press. Therefore, each of them deserves the attention of readers.
The list of the most fun jokes, of course, should include at least one about Chapaev.
Petka comes to Vasily Ivanovich, and he sits and quickly writes something on a piece of paper. The Red Army soldier asks: “Vasily Ivanovich, what do you write there? Or is it a military secret?”.
Chapaev, without looking up from his work and without looking up, says: "I am writing an opera." The surprised machine gunner asks his commander: "Will anything be said about me there?" Chapaev answers again, while continuing to write: “Of course, Petka! And it will be about you! Oper said to send a report on everyone.”
Cleanliness and order
Vasily Ivanovich asks Petka: “Have you by any chance seen my socks? I haven't been able to find them for two days now. Red Army manreplies: “What are they looking for? There they are under the bed.”
The previous sample of folk humor was named the funniest joke in the world by some ratings.
Among the funniest jokes, there are many that are dedicated to music.
The singer who sang only pop songs dies. The Apostle Peter asks: “Well, my daughter, tell me, what did you do in your earthly life?”.
She replies that she is a musician. The elder says: “Then you will definitely go to hell! Where John Lennon, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin and others suffer.”
The singer was sad and prepared to go to the underworld. But then the apostle Peter says: “Sing to me, my daughter, something in parting!”. She sang a terrible song in a disgusting voice. The apostle says: “So what kind of musician are you? Go to heaven.”
In this collection of the funniest jokes there is even one copy dedicated to the sun of Russian poetry, Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin.
Alexander Sergeyevich and his wife are walking along Nevsky Prospekt. The lady dropped her umbrella. Pushkin picked it up with a slight movement and handed it to her. After that, they got into the carriage and left. One eyewitness of this event tells his friend about what happened: “Yesterday I saw Pushkin with Natalya Goncharova. She tripped, fell and broke her leg.” The person who heard this story passes it on to another: “They say that yesterday Pushkin and his wife were drunk on the Nevsky Prospekt, fell into the mud, got smeared like pigs…”.
99a man tells the hundredth: “There are rumors that Gogol and Belinsky had a fight yesterday on Nevsky Prospekt.”
Stirlitz shot Muller in the head. The German, thinking about it, realized that the bullet was explosive.
A man wakes up in a sobering-up station, sees bars on the windows, realizes that he is a prisoner and decides: “If the Germans come, I will say that I am Standartenführer Stirlitz. If I ended up with the Russians, then I will introduce myself as Major Isaev.”
An employee of the sobering-up station comes in and says: “Well, you got drunk yesterday, comrade Tikhonov! Shame on you! And also a people's artist!”.
A Russian, a Frenchman and an American are on a desert island. All three went fishing so as not to die of hunger. Sat for half a day - no result. Suddenly one of them caught a golden fish. She spoke in a human voice and offered to fulfill two wishes for each of them if they let her go free. The American said, "Please give me a million dollars and send it home to my wife."
The Frenchman asked for a million euros and also transfer it to his homeland.
And the Russian says: “Oh, it was a good company! Bring me a bottle of vodka and bring those two back.”
And finally, the funniest joke for all ages.
Crow and Cheburashka are sitting on the pipe. The bird says: "Fly on!".
Cheburashka answers her: "Wait, let your ears rest!".
It is generally accepted that the most "cool" profession we have is taxi drivers. It is about them and their professional activities that a huge number of anecdotes, jokes and aphorisms are composed. But doctors confidently breathe into their backs. They, one might say, are in second place in popularity in the ranking of the most-most, and therefore we decided to devote this material entirely to jokes about medicine and everything connected with it
While Americans are joking with Russians, Russians are making up stories about Americans. An example is the same Zadornov, better known for his age-old saying: “Well, the Americans are stupid! ..” But one of the most popular in our country has always been and probably will be jokes about Armenians, while Armenians always joke about Russians. What interesting jokes about them are in use in our country today?
Your attention is invited to a selection of jokes about the bank. It turns out that in these institutions, too, quite often there are funny incidents. Jokes about the bank are sometimes about the secret desires of the employees of these institutions. So, the girl, the secretary of the director of the bank, all her life dreamed of one fine day putting a lemon not in a cup of tea for her boss, but on her own account
This article is about jokes about Chechens. For all their external severity, representatives of this nationality also like to joke and laugh. They often tell jokes about Chechens themselves. Once a Moscow taxi driver had to take a Chechen who worked as a speech therapist. The passenger decided not to waste time and by the end of the planned route corrected the driver's speech defect. Now, instead of saying: “3,000 rubles to Domodedovo, he says: “You only have 200 rubles.”
There are a lot of jokes about representatives of various professions. For example, there are many humorous stories about doctors, accountants, businessmen. Jokes about welders are not so common. It is believed that comic situations rarely happen to representatives of this profession. However, there are still several dozen jokes about welders and welding. Some of them will be presented in this article