2024 Author: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 05:25
Profession of a taxi driver - no end to come up with all sorts of jokes and aphorisms. What our Russian folk writers (and not only Russians) do. And the jokes are just amazing. And if you figure that the lion's share of all invented jokes about taxi drivers are taken from life, this makes them even more interesting. Let's skim the funniest and most common ones together.
About the profession of "taxi driver" and why it is so in demand among jokers
There are a huge number of people in a taxi every day. And what only types in them you will not see enough! In any way. Plus the taxi drivers themselves are a dime a dozen. It is clear that with such a cross-country ability and a huge fleet of cars, there should be a whole lot of jokes about taxi drivers. A bunch of jokes have been filmed about their impudence alone on the road. In addition, taxi drivers themselves are very talkative people. And if tales and cases from taxi driver’s life are not spread by taxi drivers themselves, thena huge number of them folded and filmed by the same passengers.
Jokes from the life of taxi drivers
Such jokes about taxi drivers - a dime a dozen, you can't list them all. You can release a whole series of volumes, although it still probably won't fit into any library.
When getting into a taxi, the taxi driver offers the passenger a candy. He refuses. The taxi driver nods and says:
- Well done for refusing. And then there was a case, one taxi driver stuffed everyone with sweets with clonidine filling, and then robbed everyone and threw them out on the street. Right into the cold. Three of them froze to death…
The rest of the trip took place in deathly silence.
A native of the Caucasus is driving a taxi. On the way, a negro slows down the car. The taxi driver turns to the passenger and says:
- Smoked toss?
- I don't care, the passenger replies.
The taxi driver stops, and the black man in the driver's window says:
- Compatriot, can you take me to the nearest subway?
A couple stops a taxi and the man asks the driver:
- How far to market?
- Steward.
- And with your wife if?
- Steward.
The man turns to the woman and says:
- That's it, fool, you're not worth a damn!
A couple is riding in the back seat of a taxi - some businessman with a prostitute he has just picked up. On the way, he tries to calculate the payment on a calculator and, having conjured on the smartphone’s display, says:
- In short, I do everythingthree minutes is enough, so I owe you fifty dollars.
Prostitute indignantly:
- What? Our minimum wage is an hour, so drive a thousand and that's it!
- Why am I supposed to give you a thing for this?
- Why so! You can use it for an hour!
- I told you it only takes me three minutes to do this. What's the rest of the hour to do?
- Well let's talk…
He again to the calculator, and then indignantly:
- Figase, talk! As for international roaming!
Jokes about taxi drivers
There are a lot of them too. Let's try to select a couple of the funniest jokes about taxi drivers, topical at all times.
Chukcha gets into a taxi, calls the address, and the car moves off. To break the awkward silence, the Chukchi pats his chest and says:
- Chukchi hunter!
The driver smirks and replies:
- I'm a hunter too!
And taps on the steering wheel, hinting that he is a money hunter.
During the conversation, distracted, the taxi driver at the last moment notices an old woman crossing the road. He barely turned around, having passed the old woman, but, looking in the rear-view mirror, he noticed with surprise and horror that the old woman for some reason was lying in the middle of the road. But he could have sworn he had ridden a woman! And then the Chukchi gives a voice from the passenger seat:
- Uhh! Your bad hunter! If my door had not been opened, the grandmother would have gone to the taiga!
A man catches a taxi, sits down. Carrier asks:
- Where toyou?
- What other boas? I don't need any boas!
- I say where do you want to go?
- Well, since we urgently need to visit the boas, let's go to the boas first…
Forgetful taxi drivers
It happens that taxi drivers sometimes really lose their customers along the way. Today, a good popularity rating (316 thousand views) is gaining a joke about a taxi driver who forgot a passenger somewhere on the way to Kazan. Let's watch it together and laugh.
Yeah. Driving 10 km and discovering the loss of a client must have been very interesting for the driver!
Taxi drivers and GPS navigators
Taxi drivers are great friends with navigators and use them to perfection. But despite this, a joke about a navigator and a Caucasian taxi driver who incorrectly pronounces the final destination is gaining extraordinary popularity (27 thousand views). Let's see.
It can be seen that the scene is staged, but it is well conceived, and you can completely laugh. We will reassure those who are going to take a taxi - there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. In fact, all taxi drivers know their business perfectly, they are perfectly oriented in any city even without navigators. And along the way, they will definitely tell you a couple of new jokes. It's in their blood.
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