2024 Author: Leah Sherlock | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 05:25
Probably, the mention of sailors in many people associates with endless expanses of water, travel and courageous people. However, the work associated with the sea element is not only romance, but also hard work. And since humor often helps to cope with difficulties, jokes about sailors are sometimes invented by representatives of this profession themselves. We present to the reader a selection of such funny stories.
Captain, captain smile
Tensive situations often arise between superiors and subordinates both on land and at sea. Some anecdotes about sailors and tell about similar cases.
Rear Admiral fell overboard and was rescued by a sailor. Recovering a little, he asked the sailor:
- How can I thank you for being so brave?
- The best way, sir, is not to tell anyone about this. If the other sailors find out, then I'll be overboard.
The old captain and his first mate reminisce about the old days of serving in the navy.
Captain:“Despite the raging elements and the terrible turbulence, you always brought me a full mug of tea at night. How did you manage to do this without spilling a single drop?”
First Officer: “Very simple. I took a sip of your tea in the galley and spit it back into the mug in front of the cabin door.”
There are also jokes about sailors where the captain has the last word.
An old sea captain was sitting on a bench near the pier. Next to him sat a young man with a Mohawk on his head. The strands of his hair were like a rainbow and simply stunning with a riot of colors. Such a picture, of course, interested the old sea dog, and he stared at the young man with curiosity.
- What's the matter, grandfather? Didn't you do crazy things when you were younger?
- Yes, it happened, of course. Once he got drunk to the blue devils and slept with a parrot. And now I sit and think, maybe you are my son?
From life
Many jokes about sailors are based on real funny stories. And here is one of them.
Night, storm and impenetrable haze. Directly in the direction of the ship, a weak beam of light breaks through. The captain sees him and, horrified by a possible collision, runs to the radio room.
When he gets to the radio, he says, "Change course ten degrees east."
"Change yours ten degrees west," comes the reply.
Captain: I'm a Navy captain! Change your course!”
"I'm a second class sailor," the next response is returned. “Change Your Course.”
The captain is furious. "I'm on a battleship! I'm not changing course!"
The sailor answers: "And I'm at the lighthouse!"
Witty
Always interesting and funny jokes about sailors with unexpected endings.
Two sailors dine on a fish dish and talk about its benefits.
First: "I heard that fish is very good for the brain."
Second: "I agree, I eat it all the time."
The first one thoughtfully looking at the second: "Well, or another theory!".
Sign: If you see a seagull flying backwards, then the wind is really strong.
The old boatswain died. In his will, he specified that his ashes should be scattered over the sea. Two young sailors set out on a boat to fulfill the will of the deceased. When they have moved far enough from the coast, one says to the other:
- Just right, come on!
- What to give?
- A shovel, damn it!
Shipwreck, the crew working together, seating passengers on lifeboats. One man hesitates in indecision and asks the sailor:
- How far is the land from here?
- About a mile away, a sailor grumbles sullenly.
- And the direction?
- Vertical.
Joke about sailors without women
Probably, many people know the sign that a woman on a ship is in trouble. Therefore, the long absence of the fair sex in the lives of men in this harsh profession has become an occasion for composing jokes.
Excerpt fromsailor's diary:
After ten months of sailing, I made a discovery for myself. It turned out that I no longer like seafood. I had to fill my disappointment with rum, and find solace in male affection.
After a shipwreck, several sailors were thrown onto a desert island. They spent several years there. One day one of them saw that some object was swaying on the waves not far from the shore. When he swam closer, he discovered that it was a barrel, and a beautiful woman was holding on to it. She looked pleadingly at the sailor and said:
"Save me and I'll give you what you've been dreaming of for so long."
The sailor replies enthusiastically: “Is there really beer in the keg?”
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